big changes from drafting

After so many drafts and re-writes, I'm taking a pause to enjoy reading my finished product with all the new additions. Seventy pages in, I'm totally in shock at how different the story reads.

Somewhere in the process, I kinda lost track of how many changes I was making (OOPS!) and how much they'd affect the overall story. And, now reading it back...I love it.

I mean, how many times can you read something you wrote without hating it a little bit (for a brief moment), but now that there's so much new content to read, I'm loving the reading process again. I'm sure there will be more edits and more re-writes, but, for now, I'm so happy with how the story has evolved. How what I envisioned is becoming more clear on each page.

Each version has been different in small ways, but this draft feels like the first time the whole story has changed in Major Ways.

The most noticeable change that carries throughout is that there's so much more showing instead of telling. Yes, it's one of those dreaded Writing Tips, but so so crucial. In early drafts, it was easy to just write what I wanted to convey without showing it in a scene.

Now, instead of just writing about how much power Luna has, I'm giving readers a scene. Read below for Luna's trip to the Revealer where her power overwhelms her. What will happen?!

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“Come on, I’ve got something to show you,” Riley walked quickly towards the skylighted building, then through the large red bushes. Luna had to jog to match his pace as they wound along the stone road that reflected the sky above in its gleaming surface. Like walking in the stars, Luna marveled. The trees thinned and the smell of heat made the air heavy. Luna wiped sweat from her forehead and bumped into Riley’s outstretched arm.

“What is this,” she asked, taken aback. Before them, was a circular opening in the trees. A large wall made of that sheer crystalline glass surrounded the whole space. Inside the circle was a grouping of rectangular silver stones sticking up from the ground. The air around the wall buzzed faintly, though Luna didn’t think Riley could hear it.

“This place was created by Protectresses long ago. It’s a Revealer. It will show you the full scope of your powers. The good and the bad parts, too. Only Protectresses can enter the space. If you’re ready, I think it’s important to understand your night sky powers better. I won’t force you though, from what I understand it can be intense.”

“I’m ready.”

“Be careful. If you get overwhelmed, all you have to do is get outside the wall,” Riley warned. But Luna was barely listening.

She walked closer to the glowing wall, drawn to its buzz of energy. There was no door to get in, but when she placed her hand on the smooth surface, the wall opened for her. Once inside, Luna was shocked by a forceful jolt. It spread throughout her body, buzzing all the while, until she was emitting a bright glow. While the energy coursed through her, Luna walked to the grouping of silver stones, and saw dates and symbols etched into the surface of each one. A fire, a mountain, a wave, a leaf were among the ones she recognized. Are these tombstones, she thought in horror. Riley watched her with a dark stare outside the space.

Suddenly the buzzing in her veins was overwhelming. She needed to let it out. Obeying the need to release the power, Luna leapt away from the stones. Gravity melted away through her palms until she hovered above the ground. Turning her head up to the sky, Luna screamed and watched sparks erupt from her hands.

The bright blazes rained down on Luna like a blizzard while she was pulled in circles from the force of the sparks still pouring out. Her hands jerked towards the giant pine trees surrounding. At once they were covered in a torrent of sparks and evaporated to ashes in mere seconds.

She tried to stop, but couldn’t. More trees and overgrowth disappeared in a blaze of sparks and ashes. Birds squawked and flew out of the smoke. Silvis critters squealed in terror.

Luna was jerked in another direction, until she was hovering in the air facing Riley. Terror gripped her. “Go!” she screamed as thick black darkness curled from her chest and shot straight for Riley.

Riley dove from the darkness, and Luna saw the fear in his eyes as he watched the display of sparks still shooting and pouring down around Luna while she floated helplessly.